Creatures of the Past [Part 2 of 10] - Teratorns

Welcome back,

This time we are looking at the Teratorns; a name that basically translates to "Monster Birds".

Teratorns were basically gigantic vultures that soared over the plains of North and South America 12,000 years ago (which isn't that long ago in terms of the history of the Earth).The largest of which was the Argentavis magnificens. I know what you are thinking but, no, that Latin name is not a shameless travel advertisement for the magnificent country of Argentina. Good old A. magnificens had a wingspan was at the least 6 m but could have been as long as 8 m. For you non-metric peoples – that is between 20 and 26 ft. To put that into perspective, at the high end of that range, these birds had wings half the length of a transport truck trailer. 

These birds, most likely, were not very attractive. You need only to refer to a Turkey Vulture or a California Condor to see what I mean. While you may call a condor and other vulture-like birds “spectacular”, they are not exactly “magnificent” or “majestic”. These scavengers are built to smell rotten flesh from far away and remain disease free through the distribution of ammonia-packed feces. New World vultures have fleshy heads with giant holes as nostrils. Teratorns likely had the same complexion. 

In contrast to their modern counterparts, teratorns had longer, a stouter leg which suggests that they may have been able to stalk prey on the ground. Some feel that teratorns were active predators and only scavenged opportunistically. So, not only did you have to watch out for death from above, you also had to be aware that there might be a massive 80 kg terror with wings hiding in the bushes. 

That is my review of the teratorns. If you take anything away from this today I want it to be this: next time you see a pigeon that has got itself trapped in a bus shelter, remember that it once may have been a horrible nightmare that could chase you down from land or sky. Well – not really. But it was related to something that could have easily killed you and feasted upon your brains and organs thousands and thousands of years ago. Have respect for your feathered friends.

Creatures of the Past [Part 1 of 10] - Dunkleosteus

Hello,

It has been a while and while I am sure there was no one to miss me I feel like an explanation is needed.

I was in university. I was too busy to write a blog.

Now that, that is dealt with...welcome to the new post! This time I am going to talk about some animals that are extinct that part of me wishes still were around (and part of me is happy they are not around to stalk and kill me). As the title suggests, I have assembled 10 beasts, ranging all over the animal kingdom, which I find fascinating. There is no particular order and therefore there is no favorite, coolest, or most "bad ass". Consider them equivalent.

Today we start with Dunkleosteus - the prehistoric fish that could crunch you in half.

Dunkleosteus is a genus of fishes that were around during the Late Devonian period (380-360 million years ago). The name roughly translates to “Dunkle-boned”. What that means, I have no idea. Perhaps a Dunkle had bones similar to this guy. Just kidding – the genus is named after David Dunkle, a curator of Vertebrate Paleontology at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. The “osteus” likely refers to how bony this fish was thought to be.

 

While not quite a Megalodon, one Dunkleosteus species measured up to 10 meters and weighed 3.6 tons. That is more than an African Elephant. That is pretty awesome. Also, you may or may not know that 10 meters is equal to 33 feet. Thirty-three feet is over 3 stories. Image a fish longer than most houses are high. Now you have some perspective.

 

What are truly special about this creature are the jaw and the associate muscles. Due to the four bar linkage mechanism of their jaws, this armoured fish was capable of both amazing quick speeds – opening and closing in about 50 milliseconds – a well as intense crushing force that is estimated between 6,000 and 7,000 N. I am not up on my physics but I can assure you that you would not want to be bitten by this beasty. Rumour has it that they liked to snap whale-like creatures in half. Just for kicks.

 

Other than being massive and strong, I like this guy because he looks like plated fish with the fortune of having a gigantic snapping turtle head. Turtles are cool so the Dunkleosteus is an automatic winner.  Like a turtle, the jaw appears to be a bony plate with hardened cartilage as “teeth” and spiky ridges to tear off chunks of prey as it slips down the throat. Additionally, the Dunkleosteus is enemy boss in the Saga Genesis game Ecco the Dolphin (the best game about a dolphin ever made).

 

That’s it! Hope you enjoyed reading up about this dude. More is coming shortly.