It has only been a day, not even twenty four hours, and I already feel the need to write again.
Where did that happy feeling go?
I know, deep down, what the problem is but i do not know why it happens to bother me today. When I do not do very much all day, I get quite moody. Most people are just bored when nothing is going on. I get angry.
My anger usually is taken out on my father because he is the easiest target. He takes it all and does not fight back. I know I should not, and apologizing seems redundant, so I just keep on doing it. I do not know what to say to his anymore. I am completely lost.
I need more friends so I have more opportunities to branch out and do my own thing. I am getting tired of staying home all of the time. I guess I am waiting for college to begin so I can meet new people and expand my options a bit.
I do not know. I just needed to vent. I feel like either crying, running away or punching a wall. None of these I want to do. I just I am just bored and for me that transforms into this fury, this hate I have for myself and how I have nothing to do all day but think about how I have nothing to do all day.
It is no fun.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
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