“This time…it was different.”
The empty hours have given me time to think. The ones filled with friends and activity has given me content for those thoughts.
I realized while I was sitting opposite of Matt, watching the 1998 adaption of Les Misérables, that I am a slightly different person with each of my friends. I wondered briefly if this was typical of other people. I assumed it was but I wasn't sure that was something to proud of.
Is it all that uncommon to shape oneself to better suit the people you are with? Does that make me two-faced and a liar?
What really got under my skin was the fact that I am not being true to myself when I adapt to the situation and to the people whom I am with. However, it then dawned on me that this was something that many people probably aspire to obtain. Quite naturally, I am able to slip into a bit of a persona while still maintaining the essential parts that make me Jeffrey. It is not an undesirable feature but rather something that allows me to connect with people on a much larger scale.
It is funny how frequently I question my motives and the characteristic that make me who I am. It would seem that the natural “default” is for me to assume they are unattractive qualities. Time and some third-person perspective allow me to see that in most circumstances this is quite untrue.
I am a friendly person and a nice guy. I am able to meet people’s needs and get along with a variety of temperaments. These are all positive attributes but it will take some affirmations for me to be convinced.
Wish me luck? I guess that is what I want. Prayer is also a safe better (which reminds me that I haven’t been to church in a while).
Toodles…
- Jeffrey
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