Creatures of the Past [Part 2 of 10] - Teratorns

Welcome back,

This time we are looking at the Teratorns; a name that basically translates to "Monster Birds".

Teratorns were basically gigantic vultures that soared over the plains of North and South America 12,000 years ago (which isn't that long ago in terms of the history of the Earth).The largest of which was the Argentavis magnificens. I know what you are thinking but, no, that Latin name is not a shameless travel advertisement for the magnificent country of Argentina. Good old A. magnificens had a wingspan was at the least 6 m but could have been as long as 8 m. For you non-metric peoples – that is between 20 and 26 ft. To put that into perspective, at the high end of that range, these birds had wings half the length of a transport truck trailer. 

These birds, most likely, were not very attractive. You need only to refer to a Turkey Vulture or a California Condor to see what I mean. While you may call a condor and other vulture-like birds “spectacular”, they are not exactly “magnificent” or “majestic”. These scavengers are built to smell rotten flesh from far away and remain disease free through the distribution of ammonia-packed feces. New World vultures have fleshy heads with giant holes as nostrils. Teratorns likely had the same complexion. 

In contrast to their modern counterparts, teratorns had longer, a stouter leg which suggests that they may have been able to stalk prey on the ground. Some feel that teratorns were active predators and only scavenged opportunistically. So, not only did you have to watch out for death from above, you also had to be aware that there might be a massive 80 kg terror with wings hiding in the bushes. 

That is my review of the teratorns. If you take anything away from this today I want it to be this: next time you see a pigeon that has got itself trapped in a bus shelter, remember that it once may have been a horrible nightmare that could chase you down from land or sky. Well – not really. But it was related to something that could have easily killed you and feasted upon your brains and organs thousands and thousands of years ago. Have respect for your feathered friends.

Creatures of the Past [Part 1 of 10] - Dunkleosteus

Hello,

It has been a while and while I am sure there was no one to miss me I feel like an explanation is needed.

I was in university. I was too busy to write a blog.

Now that, that is dealt with...welcome to the new post! This time I am going to talk about some animals that are extinct that part of me wishes still were around (and part of me is happy they are not around to stalk and kill me). As the title suggests, I have assembled 10 beasts, ranging all over the animal kingdom, which I find fascinating. There is no particular order and therefore there is no favorite, coolest, or most "bad ass". Consider them equivalent.

Today we start with Dunkleosteus - the prehistoric fish that could crunch you in half.

Dunkleosteus is a genus of fishes that were around during the Late Devonian period (380-360 million years ago). The name roughly translates to “Dunkle-boned”. What that means, I have no idea. Perhaps a Dunkle had bones similar to this guy. Just kidding – the genus is named after David Dunkle, a curator of Vertebrate Paleontology at the Cleveland Museum of Natural History. The “osteus” likely refers to how bony this fish was thought to be.

 

While not quite a Megalodon, one Dunkleosteus species measured up to 10 meters and weighed 3.6 tons. That is more than an African Elephant. That is pretty awesome. Also, you may or may not know that 10 meters is equal to 33 feet. Thirty-three feet is over 3 stories. Image a fish longer than most houses are high. Now you have some perspective.

 

What are truly special about this creature are the jaw and the associate muscles. Due to the four bar linkage mechanism of their jaws, this armoured fish was capable of both amazing quick speeds – opening and closing in about 50 milliseconds – a well as intense crushing force that is estimated between 6,000 and 7,000 N. I am not up on my physics but I can assure you that you would not want to be bitten by this beasty. Rumour has it that they liked to snap whale-like creatures in half. Just for kicks.

 

Other than being massive and strong, I like this guy because he looks like plated fish with the fortune of having a gigantic snapping turtle head. Turtles are cool so the Dunkleosteus is an automatic winner.  Like a turtle, the jaw appears to be a bony plate with hardened cartilage as “teeth” and spiky ridges to tear off chunks of prey as it slips down the throat. Additionally, the Dunkleosteus is enemy boss in the Saga Genesis game Ecco the Dolphin (the best game about a dolphin ever made).

 

That’s it! Hope you enjoyed reading up about this dude. More is coming shortly. 

July 10th; Top Ten Albums That Define My Taste

Some may call it "too mainstream" but for what it is worth...
Here are the top ten albums - in no particular order - that define my taste in music.

Vheissu – Thrice
What it is to Burn – Finch
Clumsy – Our Lady Peace
The Con – Tegan and Sara
The Airborne Toxic Event – The Airborne Toxic Event
Sing the Sorrow – AFI
Deja Entendu – Brand New
High Violet – The National
Set Yourself on Fire – Stars
CexCells – Blaqk Audio

- Jeffrey

July 23rd; A Day Like No Other

It has been a while. I apologize. Boo hoo. Let's do this.

I woke up today feeling different. Hard to explain exactly what had changed but the point was that I knew that my mood could go one way or the other. I could actually sense my little brain-bites deciding whether or not this was going to be a "good day" or a "bad day".

After eating and showering, I chose to take the dogs on a walk despite the threat of rain. Earlier on when I was letting the dogs out, I had momentarily felt that the air had a warm but not hot breeze running through it. I thought this might be nice to walk in.

Indeed, within the first few minutes, it began to drizzle but I continued on. The sensation was one I hadn't felt in a while and I wanted to enjoy it. The dogs didn't seem to mind at all so I took the luxury of going a little slower than usually just to "take it all in". By the time I was only a few hundred feet from home, the rain had gotten quite heavy.

Still, I was loving every moment of it. There was this huge stupid grin on my face and must have confused people that were driving past. I didn't care. I was happy. While it was just a little walk in the rain it made me realize that one should never "sweat the small stuff". So I got caught in the rain - so what? I will be dry in thirty minutes. No real harm AT ALL was done.

If I have the ability to "turn around" something that would usually make me grumpy, then I have the power to do that in other aspect of my life - perhaps even on a greater scale. Lately my thoughts have been on two things, the greater being school. I am worried about the coming year and it's difficult. I am concerned about the pressure to pursue my degree after graduating from college. Heck, I am even a little anxious about living with only girls next year. However, there is no need.

The really important things in my life are stable. I have family, friends, healthy and happiness. All the other stuff is a bonus. I know I am a resourceful and capable young man so the rest will fall into place accordingly. And if for some reason it doesn't, oh well. I work on it when I get there. Fretting now will accomplish nothing.

I just thought I would share that little bit of insight. It made me feel good. And powerful.



- Jeffrey

July 2; The Cat Came Back

I decided to keep Gaidyn. The kitten won me over. I cannot believe it but the little monster wiggled his way into my heart.

Here is how it happened. After his brother, Kodiak, moved to a new home, I decided Gaidyn needed some company. He would cry when he was alone. The obvious location for him upstairs was my bedroom. I guess that was my first mistake but, onward in the story we go. I took the beast to the cottage with me. Aside from being beyond adorable, Gaidyn emerged from the basement with an astounding personality. My father was downright silly around him and even my mother seemed to really like him. Gaidyn would tear around the cottage and do his signature “zombie walk”.

Then it happened – the act that tied me forever to this little life. Gaidyn disappeared while I was working away on my vegetation collection, my mother was lying down and my father was making some call outside. For a half an hour, we all tore the cottage apart – calling his name every second – desperate to find the kitten. After a while, we all agreed he has to be outside somewhere. The search began.

Fairly quickly, my hopes of finding him were diminishing. By the hour and a half mark, the voice inside of head said that some vulture had swooped down and taken Gaidyn away from us forever. I know that sounds completely ridiculous but the mind is an amazing magician. The most impossible things flow steady through my imagination.

My father was distraught. My mother apologized every time she saw my glum face. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like crying or running but I knew both of those things would accomplish nothing. I felt so silly. It was just a kitten from some barn and I already had fallen in love. It was a set up for disaster.

Then, finally – miraculously – he just reappeared from seemingly nowhere. It was a grand celebration and I promised to myself and God that if Gaidyn came back I would keep him safe from then on in. I always keep my promised. The kitten is now officially an Ethier.

I wonder how he is going to change as he gets older. I wonder if the same playfulness and spunk will stand the test of time. Spooky lived all his 16+ years as a kitten in spirit – I do not see why things would be any different with Gaidyn. He has certainly formed a bond with me and I intend to foster that special connection.

Here’s to him – Gaidyn, the King of Tabbies


- Jeffrey

June 18th; Happy Again, My Friend

Forget what I have said before – life isn’t as crappy as people make it out to be. Sure, things go down that would make a throng of newborn kittens weep but, for the most part, those things are rarities.

I saw the world through different eyes today. I figured that if I got caught up on every heartache, I was going to destroy myself. I am not going to let that happen. Not when there are so many loving people around me that have done nothing but given me every excuse to be joyous.

After five years of never really giving myself a break, I slept in. It wasn’t too late but it felt great. I was able to just let go, put my head on the pillow, and snoozed for an hour more. I had a quick shower and I swear the water temperature was perfect. I was in heaven.

Mom stayed home from work so we went on an adventure – I drove – to see my life-long babysitter, Louise. While mom and Louise talked, I ran around with Amber and collected aquatic vegetation from the nearby swamp/forest area. I also answered Louise’s several wildflower questions which validated the past two years I have spent on my education at Fleming College.

A few more errands, some practice parking, a bite to eat, and it was already 5:45pm. The day went quickly but I did not mind at all. I was happy – truly happy. I didn’t have to fake it. I was actually jovial and that made me want to hug something. Luckily I have two dogs and two kittens.

I am pumped for Saturday. Perhaps it is my high off of today’s events and my good feeling, but I am excited for the Toth Bonfire and BBQ. That means you, buddy. I have been working on the Jeep footage and it should be done by the end of this weekend if I am not too busy. I will have to invite you over so you can review the changes I have. The mo’fo’ is finally under 20 minutes.

That’s it. That is all I wanted to say.

w00tercakes with score-sauce!

- Jeffrey

June 13th; A New Kind of Living

It has been a week and I am not sure what I have to say.

A lot has happened but I am not sure how willing I am to share it. A lot of people have been talking to me about some pretty serious stuff. I am always willing to lend an ear – that is not the issue – but I worry about my friends and family. Stuff happens. I hope I can provide for them.

In other news, my brother has become quite the man right before my eyes. A new house, a new fiancée, and now a new dog. It is a lot to take in. I am so incredibly proud and happy for him. I really couldn’t ask for a better older brother. He has been nothing but supportive and encouragement. Even during the rough few years, he was there and I am thankful for that.

I had some people over last night. It was a great experience and yet another nice addition to my Heritage Day experiences. I love hosting and it gave me the opportunity to connect with people I haven’t seen in a quite a long time. I have known them for easily 5 years, but it something new always surprises me every time I see them. They are an excellent bunch.

The weeks that are coming up should prove to be promising. At the end of the month I have my G2 driving test. Since my mother will be caught up with convocation, my father will be taking me out to smooth out the blemishes so to speak. My dad is a great guy but he isn’t very critical of me. I worry he will be unwilling to point out my mistakes in hopes to keep the peace.

A completed plant collection and a perhaps a job/volunteer position and I would call myself content. The in between might be tricky and a bit tedious but I will grow from that. That is what life is all about.


- Jeffrey