Solstice

I swore I was not mad at you but I guess that I am.

I had the best week of my life and coming back to a water-damaged house is no less than - well - depressing.

Trying to make the best of it, I think I am losing myself in the process. My mother said something to the effect of, "the best way to say 'thank you' is to be happy for us." I nearly cried.

Maybe it is the rain. Maybe it is the fact I left the best place I know. Maybe it is because I didn't get to see nearly as many people as I wanted to. Maybe it is because I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. Regardless, I cannot help but admit I am afraid.

It is the strangest feeling ever; delighted but fearful. I am happy. I have seen the light and I am practically bathing in it but something still looms over me. The darkness shadow I know is lurking in the foreground. It is hard to justify such happiness when I know so many things are yet to be resolved.

I feel like dancing and celebrating life. I want to hold someone like it will be the last thing I will ever do.

I am overjoyed with the opportunities. I am nervous about what comes next.

If you don't mind, I would like to still hold your hand.