May 23rd; Up-North Thoughts

I do not know how to express this other than to say that I think I could live at the cottage forever. I would say that I cannot even begin to understand what I was missing at home but I do know why. I would miss the people – my friends, my brother and Katherine, the people that I see when I take the bus or walk to streets. However, I digress…

I think I could sleep in the moss. It is so peaceful here. Probably the only annoyance is a battle between the fact that I cannot classify every organism that I come into contact with and the uncertainly of what to do next. Part of me just wants to read the day away. Another part wants to explore the woods and all the inhabitants thereof. Yet another part wants to just sit, sip on something cool, and watch as the breeze dances with the trees. My days would be a combination of both. I would be happy.

Driving into town with my father was a joy. Sometimes I miss how good he is to me. Today I noted it well. The man loves me – hands down and no lie. I have always been closer to my mother and I feel slightly ashamed by that. Dad is great but I never seem able to talk to him on a real deep level. Is it a sin to use your parents? Is it unholy to go to your father with your silly passions and your mother with your serious insecurities? I hope on a hope that it isn’t so. If it is, I am nearly six feet under and feeling toasty.

The vegetation collection goes well. As I figure it, I have 10-12% of my project done. In time more will be accomplished. I can taste the sweet triumph of completion. All I have to do now is grind the gears and slowly get the thing done. I feel good. This third year of Fish and Wildlife is feeling more and more possible each day.

I shall leave you here, for I think the other things on my mind need to brew. I want to write poetry but I think it will come out all too “teen romance”. I want to stay creditable and write quality stuff. Perhaps the answer is to just write it out anyways. Bottling it in like this will only allow it to fester and age; becoming all that more potent.

With God, all things are possible. Grant me the strength. I still believe.

- Jeffrey